Toxic “Friends” – do you have any?!
Toxic friends, it sounds like a cool band, but actually I’m referring to friends, who aren’t really friends at all. You see, there are some people in life who can’t help but dampen your day. The ones who manage to make you feel even worse about something you already feel a bit rubbish about. You know the sort, your ex boyfriend has married a super model and your toxic friend can’t help pointing out that you’ve gained weight since being married.. Yes, she might be being honest, but really all she’s doing is making you reach for the ice cream.
These “friends” are jealous, and they’re what I refer to as toxic friends. Let’s be honest, they are often more acquaintances, who have really hung around far longer than you should have allowed, but that doesn’t make it easier to deal with them. They envy you, but will never say, and instead go out of their way to be malicious in a way you thought most people grew out of aged 16. Yes back then your toxic friend stole your boyfriend by telling him she’d seen you talking to another boy, but somehow that was easier to contend with than the malicious crap your new toxic friend throws your way.
Too busy to care..
The most common toxic friend is the friend who only wants to know you when things are good, when there’s a wedding or a promotion on the cards they’re right by your side. But when life is tough, for whatever reason, they’re suddenly ignoring you as your life doesn’t interest them. Perhaps they’ve been there and had a divorce themselves, or have been through financial problems or whatever it is you’re suffering with and they can’t face it again, but really? It doesn’t take much to explain that to a friend, and friends will understand. Just cutting you off is not what a real friend does..
Nasty comments, so you’ve made decisions they don’t agree with (haven’t we all?) It doesn’t justify unpleasant comments made to you about your choices. My mother always used to say; “if you have nothing good to say, don’t say anything at all..” there’s much truth in that.
The good news?
There is however a very good thing about toxic friends, and it’s the real reason I’ve written this post. Toxic friends, make you realise who your real friends are, and how great your real friends are! I admit, I’m not the best friend, in truth I am a bit rubbish at times – especially with keeping in touch. But, real friends understand. Real friends don’t need you to explain every detail of a crisis before they offer a smile or a text right when you need it. So, forget about the toxic friends, they’re not worth your tears.
Such a beautifuly written piece, full of truths and wisdom.