Monthly Archives: July 2011

Tantrums and tears..

Boo turned 3 at the end of June, and I rather naively thought that milestone might mean a step away from tantrums. Oh how wrong I seem to have been. Far from stepping away from them, they seem to have got worse!!
To any one who knows me, this blog post may come as a surprise, as I like to live under the impression that my children fell out of a children’s book, they are perfect, never cry, never scream…and I choose to walk about in a state of ‘dragged through the hedge backwards’ it is called style not ‘slummy Mummy’ honest..

Boo’s tantrums have peaked, they are at the stage where he takes delight in screeching at the top of his voice ‘I don’t care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!’ when Mr G says anything to him in an attempt to calm him..Mr G doesn’t see the funny side and I can see him visibly turning a strange shade of beetroot as he approaches our little Tasmanian devil (who by this stage is usually spinning around waving his arms like rotor blades by this point) for a second attempt at negotiation.My attitude is to just ignore these moments and carry on as normal even though I’m being followed by my little devil and deluged with such articulate language as ‘I don’t like you, you’re horrid, yukky Mummy yukky!’ Of course this is harder to ignore when combined with the rotor blade arm moments which hit my arms and legs surprisingly hard, and often try to take out jars of pickled beetroot or whatever is nearest us in the shop/house/(insert name of any public venue..).

I have concluded that I’m not sure there is a ‘right’ way to handle these tantrums, surely it is more about survival, and proving to my little devil that actually his behaviour is not very nice and certainly won’t get him rewarded with the ice cream/comic/attention he is craving. I’ll be honest, I find these tantrums quite distressing, I want to curl up on the floor and well..transport myself to another world where I live in an immaculate house and the children are dressed in white linen (perfectly pressed of course). Funnily enough, it is that image which retains my calm even when we have started to grow a huge audience to one of these tantrums, I think to myself…’ahhhh white linen suits, a white sofa and fresh white walls…in my idyllic beach house’ take a deep breath and try to detach myself from the situation. This certainly works better than my initial reaction which is to shriek at the top of my voice ‘Oh god stop you’re humiliating me! This is worse than when my Mum came and collected me from the disco at 8pm when everyone else was allowed to stay til 11pm!’

As soon as the rampage of shrieking stops, I’m greeted with floods of tears hugs and ‘I’m sorry Mummy, I’m sorry for screaming and being naughty’. Which make me feel terrible, as I’m often still none the wiser what caused the upset to begin with, was he tired? did i not offer him enough attention? was I making to much fuss of baby? Yesterday I asked him what had caused him to get so cross, he replied ‘I felt angry Mummy’ so i asked why he felt angry and he replied ‘Because Mummy is very naughty and didn’t let me have an ice lolly’ I sighed and explained why I’d said No and he nodded (sticking his bottom lip right out as though he were about to bawl again). Is this what all his temper tantrums are about right now I wonder? Learning that he can’t have everything? Does this mean I’ve been spoiling him so far? When Baby arrived Boo did get showered in presents from everyone, as I didn’t want presents for the baby so they gave him a present instead? Is this my fault?! Yikes..what to do..

The end of an era..stopping breast feeding.

It was slightly ironic that I made the decision last week during National Breastfeeding Week, to stop breastfeeding. It wasn’t a decision I made lightly, in fact I had always assumed there would come a time when I wanted to stop but that didn’t really happen. I decided to stop breastfeeding, after Elvis used his new teeth to bite my nipple to the point where it bled heavily, then before this could recover, he attacked the other side. I was in so much pain that I couldn’t see how I could continue, and after using my breast pump to manually express for a few days I made the decision to stop..
But how do you stop? It might sound silly, but I found there are few resources on what to do when you want to stop breast feeding? I had masses of milk, and found myself leaking everywhere, the only advice I found was to not express and not drink as much..neither were terribly helpful to me!
After two days of walking about with canon balls instead of breasts, I decided I had to express, the relief was tremendous! The following day by the evening I was just as heavily laden, so I expressed once more on the left side which was causing me terrible discomfort. I vowed that was it, I needed to struggle through now!
Weeding the garden the following day led to a comment from my neighbour asking why I didn’t get tablets to dry the milk up? (she asked this as my t-shirt was soaking around the breast area and I clearly appeared oblivious to the fact I was appearing in the rural equivalent of a wet t-shirt contest). I really didn’t want anything from the Dr’s to dry the milk up, after the problems i had encountered with Boo (when my milk dried up without explanation very early on)so I smiled and replied ‘Yes maybe!’.
Elvis hated me putting him to bed, he wanted to be breast fed and the sight of a bottle made his face scrunch up and tears ran  down his cheeks. Normally he is so cheerful, I sat wondering why I was torturing him (and myself!) maybe I should continue?! The voice of reason spoke out, Mr G reminded me that I had to stop at some point and as I had started the process I should continue. It sounds silly but a little part of me resented him saying that, I almost wanted him to say ‘Gosh Darling, you must continue until Elvis is at least 12months old’ I suddenly felt..redundant? Seeing my eyes drop to the floor, and well with tears, Mr G swung an arm around me and said ‘Let me put him to bed while you jump in the bath’
Of course Elvis settled straight away with Mr G, and while I lay in the bath a sense of relief came over me, and I knew that I wasn’t doing anything wrong by stopping breast-feeding at 5 1/2 months. 
Elvis is doing well and is happily taking a bottle of formula. 11 days on, I am still carrying alot of breast milk but it is reducing and I’ve not expressed since day 3, I wonder when it will totally dry up?
The only advice I have is keep wearing a supportive nursing bra, does anyone else have any tips on what to do when you decide to stop breastfeeding?