Sleepless in the heatwave.
I enjoy the heat now as much as I did as a young adult. But, as I get older I do seem to struggle to sleep when the weather is hot. Or perhaps, I now need more sleep than I did as a 20 year old – who probably didn’t even attempt to go to sleep until the early hours?
I lay awake last night, sweltering hot. Trying to find the “cool” space in bed. Settling briefly, then realising I was still too warm, and wriggling around again. Turning over my pillow repeatedly, and enjoying the draft created by it.
My head making matters worse, deciding to use the quiet awake time to think things through. Trying to make decisions on things, and make calculations on costs while hot and tired isn’t the best of ideas. But, who had their best ideas while sleepless in a heatwave?
When I did fall asleep I found my dreams were less than restful. I seemed to be processing all my troubles via my dreams. The dreams were not unhappy, in truth they were mostly happy encounters with old friends. But, filled with judgement. I have judged myself harshly overnight. In one of these dreams, I tried on a pair of shorts and they wouldn’t fit over my knees! I needed the shorts to go out running with a group, and no one could go as my shorts did not fit. I have gained weight during lock-down, and I think I was just reminding myself that!
This morning, I am tired, I think I maybe slept for 3 hours? But, I am smiling. I’ve decided that some bits of life feel uncomfortable, but I just need to move them around to make them fit better. I’m sat writing the list I have avoided writing for too long. (Top of the list, invest in a new pillow… I don’t think mine appreciated the endless turning over night as it currently resembles a sack of potatoes.) More on lists and things in another post as the call of the children tells me my quiet time is up.