Life changing, I’m failing.

You know that minute in time when you suddenly have your life turned upside down when you make a decision which changes everything? Yes that. Sometimes you have to take action, this week I stepped in to help and take over care of someone I care very dearly about who is struggling with physical disability and mental health issues.

There’s that word mental, that word I associate with playground taunts or a word which meant cool back in the 90’s. That word that fills people with concern and thoughts of being institutionalised (or is that just me). Mental is a word that fills this person who is struggling with fear and tears flow as they say “I’m not mental, life is just getting me down.”

There’s been so much crying, much of it by me. I’m tired and these people who are meant to help are often quite exhausting. I’m sick of being addresses on a first name basis by people who call me expecting me to know what they are on about. They frequently fail to tell me who they are and express annoyance when I ask. Yes it matters to me exactly who you are, I don’t care you are part of the team.

The next problem, no one is offering any answers, I keep being told it takes time, I understand it takes time, but where is the plan to show this person that they can rebuild their life? Where is the realisation that with the exception of phone calls they are leaving me unsupported, as the visits just result in questions which they won’t answer. My home is not a permenant solution, my children are already feeling the strain of the crying and broken routine, how long can we continue? I don’t know. There are so many problems and struggling to sort someone elses life is already meaning our lives are suffering with poor diets and sleep deprivation – this is just at the end of week 1. Let me find the strength for week 2.