My Grief is like the Ocean.

Someone asked me how I felt. They were being kind. Actually, they were kinder than they realise as it made me think, how do I feel? It’s the first time I have sat and thought about it. I shan’t lie, it took several attempts to write this, and many tears.


I have tried many times to explain the emotion, and faltered. It’s such a personal emotion. I am not an expert, not a counsellor, just a thirty-something who is grieving. This is the only way I can describe my own feelings.

calm seas view of the Isle of Wight

Calm Solent Sea

My grief is like the ocean.

My grief is like the ocean, it is always here.

It is great and changeable.

Some days, it rolls in and out and merely laps at my toes. Those days I smile, as I remember happy times and though you are gone, I almost still feel you are here.

Then there are the days when the waves of grief roll in violently, knocking me off my feet.

I am hauled into the ocean, out of my depth, out of breath, struggling against a barrage of waves. I try to swim back to the shore, away from the turbulence of this grieving sea, I am weak. I struggle, scrambling in the shallows, my fingers clawing at the shingle. I feel so lost, so sad that you are gone. Angry that you left. We should have been old together, drinking tea with blue tints in our hair.

Then suddenly the calm comes again.

I am standing on the beach. Watching those waves of grief as they recede. The sun is shinning, I feel the warmth on my face. A gentle reminder, that you are gone, but I am here.


Tea and Biscuits

My experience of grief is that there are good days and bad days. I often remind myself that life is short. She would want me to live as exciting a life as I can, and toast her with tea and biscuits with a blue rinse in my hair if I am lucky enough to grow old where she did not.

Bereavement Help

If you have been bereaved, charities like CRUSE can offer help and advice.

The Baby Hamper Company – Review

Buying a gift for a new baby can be a challenge. Especially if you are looking for something a little different! When I gave birth earlier this year, I couldn’t have many visitors due to ill health. So, I really appreciated gifts which people had chosen with care and posted to us. When The Baby Hamper Company got in touch to ask if we would review one of their hampers I was delighted. They create beautiful gifts to be delivered to new parents, wrapped with care. Perfect if you want to show someone you’re thinking of them.

I love the concept of being able to treat a new baby with a lovely gift delivered to their door. There are multiple options of hampers available including a build your own. 

Baby Hamper Contents

The hamper arrived looking beautiful, carefully wrapped in  brown box tied with a neat red ribbon. Wrapped in a box, it was low waste, which I love! Plus I think the box and ribbon will be re-used anyway!

I chose a Really Useful hamper as I am always pleased with a beautiful but useful gift! This contains a beautiful Winnie The Pooh Aden & Anais Muslin Cloth, A Lamaze Tiger, Sock ons (no more losing 1 sock!) a short sleeve baby body, and a long sleeve/leg body suit. The clothes are both size 0-3months, so perfect for a new baby.

Baby gifts

I have to say I was impressed with the quality of the baby clothes, they are really soft cotton. The footless style on the long sleep suit is great, as I always found my babies had long legs so the feet never fit on normal sleep suits! 

0-3months Sleep Suits

I think these hampers would also work well as a baby shower gift, or as a present for someone leaving work to go on maternity leave. All the gifts included are high quality, and I feel that they are packed and sent with care. The Baby Hamper Company offer good value high quality gifts, which are sure to be a hit with new parents.

Winter Skincare with Aquaphor

“This post is an entry for the BritMums #MyAquaphor Challenge, sponsored by Eucerin. Discover the benefits of Eucerin

Winter is a time when I struggle to keep my skin happy. I suffer with dry chapped skin, and it happens almost over night. 

Aquaphor is a balm, so you only need a tiny bit to moisturiser effectively. It absorbs into skin with ease, leaving my skin looking instantly revived. 

My children have started to use Aquaphor on their hands and face before school too – just across their cheek bones. It means they skin is protected from the change from cold outdoors to central heated classrooms. Changes in temperature from damp outside to dry central heated room can play havoc with sensitive skin in our experience. I keep our tube of Aquaphor in the change bag along with my gloves, ready to pop on after every hand wash! 

This entry was posted in Reviews.

History Buffs in Ulan-Ude: Living The Dream

This article is published in partnership with Mediabuzzer

History Buffs

As there are plenty of interesting facts related to the history of the Trans-Siberian railway route, there is no real surprise that lots of passengers riding this main line are keen amateur historians or in some cases history professors from around the world. People booking a train trip taking in a stopover at Ulan-Ude are bound to know at least a thing or two about this popular destination along the Trans-Siberian route or in fact, where the Trans-Mongolian line can take us all the way to Beijing.

Image Source: Pixabay

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This entry was posted in Travel.

Top 5 Kids Christmas Films

I’m the first to admit that I’m getting a little excited about our first Christmas as a family of 6! One of our favourite ways to get in the festive mood is watching a Christmas film, and we usually watch a couple after School each week on the countdown to Christmas.

Now, my list is controversial, it doesn’t include many of the great festive favourites we have come to love each Christmas (Elf doesn’t feature…) but it is 5 films which we love as a family – and they may give you some inspiration for the season! So, why not get ready with a cosy blanket, mug of hot chocolate and some popcorn and one of these festive favourites! Continue reading →

Coffee, why filter coffee should be on your shopping list! #Review

I don’t mind confessing that I adore a good cup of coffee! Actually I struggle without my cup of coffee at about 11am each day. It has become a routine to stop and have coffee at 11am each day. I find I feel so much more productive afterwards!

I always try to choose coffees which are ethically produced, and I look to minimise waste. This means always packing a reusable cup if I’m ou and about. But also choosing coffee which is in minimal packaging. Ideally packaging which can be recycled.

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Going Green One Step At a Time.

With so many people wanting to go Plastic Free or make more eco-friendly it’s now really the time to make small changes to your lifestyle. Being green is cool. But, I also think there’s a danger of being exactly the opposite as people race to go green by replacing perfectly functional things with greener options. It’s not very green to throw away your re-usable plastic drinks bottle just to replace it with a stainless steel one! Continue reading →