As soon as I’d had the early scan, I booked my midwife booking appointment, this is usually the first proper contact with a midwife you get when you’re pregnant. I’ve had mixed experiences of community midwives, and so I had already decided that if she wasn’t going to listen to me I’d take my chances at the ante-natal clinic at the hospital. The appointment came, and I took E with me, armed with a comic and stickers, I had already filled in the maternity forms and so I could concentrate on all the questions I wanted to ask – yes even though I have done this before I still have questions!
The midwife was a bit tentative, and kept saying “Oh yes, I booked you in then you had a miscarriage before the 12 week scan, then you had an ectopic.. oh.. you have been unlucky..” which didn’t make me feel any happier. I explained that, even though I had seen the baby was in the right place, I was still concerned, and what if it went wrong again? I pointed out that I felt that if it did go wrong again I needed a little more support than being patted on the back and being told “oh well” like they had before. She tried to reassure me, then started filling in forms for a consultant referral, I have an underactive thyroid which means they like to send me off to the consultant, I’m not sure if the ectopic would cause a referral otherwise? I’m not sure.
We briefly discussed options for birth, and basically the only option everyone is comfortable with at this stage is a hospital birth. I bled heavily in the final stage of labour with Boo, and this meant with E I had to get out of the birthing pool as soon as he was born to ensure I was safe if it happened again. I had a great birth with E, it was perfect like you’d imagine every birth would be. Boo’s however was nothing less than horrific and even thinking about it now makes me feel anxious, no idea how I went on to have E to be honest!
The midwife took bloods, and explained when I’d need to see her next and that she’d arrange the 12 week scan – “something to look forward to”. I smiled and tried to look like I was feeling positive, but I’m not going to lie all I could think was “I hope I get to 12 weeks..” I tried to leave on a happy note and managed to leave smiling even though I just felt stressed, I felt like screaming. As soon as I got home I called my best friend and cried down the phone at her, thankfully she has known me so long she knows how to calm me down and make me smile! I always think booking appointments are a bit disappointing anyway, as you have lots of expectations and then in fact all that really happens is they weigh you, test your wee and take some blood!
To be continued..
Ms G xx