Help, I’m lost in parenting. Every morning, there is the same routine, I get up and make breakfast, make packed lunches, battle to get the children dressed, then realise I am still in my pyjamas.. I throw on jeans and whatever jumper is nearby and dash out of the house with my hair pulled back into some kind of top knot. Yes, I know I sound gorgeous right?
I tried to choose a new book to read last week, but struggled as I found myself censoring all sorts of books as “unsuitable” for young readers..(since when was I a young reader?!). Things have got pretty bad, I’m so lost in parenting that I’d rather sit myself down with a copy of Alice in wonderland than a John Grisham.
I love my children, I love being a parent, but I’m not entirely sure who I am aside of Mum. I get glimpses of myself, when I am looking at dresses or hanging out in the library (at preschool song time..) I recognise my love of books, fashion, dancing, music and anything to do with messing about on (or in!) the water. So perhaps, I am not so lost as I fear, perhaps I have the map I just need to navigate a little better?
It’s so easy for me to write I will make time for myself.. yet in reality, it is not so simple, as I struggle to be organised enough. Yet surely, I am worth those extra 5 minutes in the morning? Surely I can find 10 minutes every evening too? 15 whole ME minutes? What could I do in 15minutes ME time? I could leave the house looking presentable, I could practice French, I could listen to music, I could read Vogue.. It sounds pretty appealing doesn’t it? Everytime I plan to make me time, I achieve it, but within weeks it has stopped again, and I think it is due to my lack of organisation! Perhaps being “lost” is due to the same disorganisation?!
To be continued..