So I fell of the wagon, I didn’t gain but I didn’t lose either. A week or two of a nocturnal screaming baby has made life difficult, and to be honest that cake I shovelled into my mouth made me feel better for a few minutes when I was struggling. The fact that I was then racked with guilt for eating the cake really didn’t help much either, as rather than seeing it as a blip or treat, I found myself feeling even more rubbish and you guessed it.. eating more cake. So, all in all to have not gained weight, I think I’ve done OK, even if my jeans are still tight to the point I can’t breathe..
I have however now set myself a target weight, and a time when I want to reach that target. I’m still being kind to myself, I will be until I stop breastfeeding! However I am also realistic that I need to fight the fat, and it really is fat. I know I’ve reached a point where my waist is dangerously big, and I am struggling to walk up hills without getting out of breath. It’s time for changes, and remembering that a little blip is not failure. My challenge is to learn to deal with blips in my diet, smooth them over and carry on. I need to allow myself a treat, and be able to have just one biscuit rather than the entire packet. I have no ability to deal with food temptation, wave a bacon sandwich at me now and I’d gobble it up faster than you can say “want sauce with that?”. I am going to need to teach myself this ability to resist, though for now I’m just trying to not buy the stuff, which might be cheating, but atleast it’s working!